When I pause to look around
I feel a desire to gather fragments of memory from my past and leave behind a brief record. I find myself wondering where to place these recollections. Memories can be painful, joyful, or bittersweet, and I feel an urge to share these moments with others—to find understanding and exchange thoughts. With that in mind, I’ve decided to start a blog.
Now, as I look back, I intend to reflect on those nearly forgotten moments one by one.
Prologue: Hope Blooming Amidst a Harsh Winter
Twenty-five years have passed, and I find myself gazing out the library window. Outside, snow blankets the world, and the paths people tread are neatly cleared. The tranquil scene helps me sort through the tumultuous times of the past.
In Canada, the trees seem to have grown strong in defiance of the harsh winters. They stand resilient, still displaying vibrant hues of blue that attest to their enduring life force. Though the chill of winter lingers, I hold onto the belief that this season, too, will soon pass.
Just as the severe winter must eventually end, I believe my own life—marked by countless challenges and hardships—will also find its spring. The many trials and valuable experiences I have accumulated will, one day, open a new chapter alongside a gentle spring breeze.
The Day of Final Packing
On the eve of our immigration to Canada, my wife and I were frantically packing our final belongings. Though we had a mountain of tasks to complete, we also kept an eye on our children. Suddenly, we realized that our eldest child, barely a year and a half old, was nowhere to be found. The twins had been together, yet one had vanished in an instant.
In a panic, my wife ran to the front of the apartment while I rushed to the back. Then, in the distance, I saw our eldest walking briskly, as if on an adventure. I sprinted after him, calling his name frantically, and caught up to him, clutching him tightly in my arms. He looked up at me with a beaming smile.
It was then that I had a realization. In my efforts to prepare meticulously and bear the weight of responsibility, I had overlooked the simple joy of the present. But my son, too young to have a goal of immigration, was simply delighted to play a game of chase with his father. In that moment, I decided that I would allow myself to savor the moment, even amidst life’s difficulties.
A Child’s Laughter
I worked tirelessly, driven by clear goals. Once I set my sights on something, I pursued it relentlessly, exploring every avenue until I achieved my desired outcome. I was determined, focused, and unyielding.
But were those goals mine alone? I thought I was striving for a shared family dream, but in truth, I was running the race by myself. My child, only a toddler, had no such ambition. For him, the joy was simply in being with his father.
On that day, his pure laughter lit up his face, his sparkling eyes and rosy cheeks warmed by the breeze. His carefree smile brought my relentless pace to a halt. Perhaps all he wanted was to play together, while I was too preoccupied with a distant horizon. It was through his laughter that I learned the importance of pausing, looking around, and ensuring that my family could follow along at their own pace.
From that moment, I resolved to live with more room to breathe—to slow down, to look around, and to move forward with my family by my side.
Epilogue: Sharing Memories
Now, twenty-five years later, I write these recollections on this blog. The family who once shared these moments with me is no longer here, so I turn to this space to preserve those memories.
May this blog serve as a place of understanding, where I can share fragments of my life and find connection with others. I hope to unearth more treasured moments and record them here.
Through this blog, I aim to transform the passage of time into cherished memories. This is the beginning of my story.
Post a Comment